My kids are 5, 3, and 2. No day is dull, but some are a bit more mind-boggling than others. Yesterday was one of those days when there were several seemingly premeditated moments that annoyed me at the time, but lost some of the spiciness after the day was over. There were also a couple cute ones that I brushed off in the moment, but that seemed much sweeter after bedtime. …
While taking my 5 minute speed-shower, the kids thought it was perfectly acceptable to rip open the shower curtain to ask me to please open their slices of American cheese that they somehow nabbed from the child-locked refrigerator.
You are their whole world…and yes, you do revolve around them. No matter how many times you tell them (and yourself) otherwise. Whether you open the cheese or barely stop yourself from cursing as you tell them through gritted teeth to get out of the bathroom and back to the Fresh Beats so you can rinse your hair in peace, they’ll think it’s perfectly acceptable to do it tomorrow, too.
I found a big chunk of raw, shriveled carrot in the bottom of the shoe bin.
Kids (and the military) throw all sorts of curveballs at you. There’s really no point in asking how, why, or when. You’ve just gotta stay calm, keep your eye on the ball, and aim for the fence – but don’t throw the bat when you strike out.
My son announced with a big grin that it was a good day because he just peed as much as Daddy does.
Your kids love you. Like, LOOOOOOOVE you. It’s stalker love, which means they are always watching and will do as you do, for better or worse. They want to be just like you, and pointing out that likeness to a parent is one of the highest compliments. (Well, at least until they hit their teens.)
My 5 year old was mad that I shushed him while trying to put the littlest down for a nap, so after I finally got him to sleep, I was greeted by a half-completed “No Grown-Ups Allowed” sign for the playroom, for which he asked me to help him complete.
They’ll get mad at you, you’ll get mad at them… they still need you. (And you won’t even be offended by how ugly your mad face looks as a stick figure.)
My kids played outside this afternoon – one in a tshirt and shorts, one in long-sleeved, mismatched pajamas, and one in nothing but snowpants. In 90 degree VA summer heat.
Just be yourself. Let them be themselves. Accept them for who they are, let them make some minor decisions, and help them learn from their mistakes without doing the “I told you so” dance…just stuff some shoes in your purse so that when they insist on wearing sandals outside in December, you can be the superhero who rescues their cold toes. The “Thanks, Mom!” or look of relief is just as satisfying.
My 3 year old daughter (the one in pajamas) just squatted on the front sidewalk and peed.
Your kids will do embarrassing things. A lot. And often. Other parents should understand, and I choose not to worry about the people who have no idea. And hey, you’ll get new neighbors when you PCS in a couple years anyway, right?
By the light of the iPhone, the Band-Aid Fairy slips a loaded bandage on the youngest’s scraped foot…because trying to put one on him immediately after the fall elicited a much more dramatic scream than the scrape itself.
This is the opposite of my daughter, who seems to be constantly designing some sort of prom dress out of Dora and Spiderman Band-Aids. Some cuts and scrapes are fine without it, of course, but others really need a good dose of Neosporin and a few hours of protection after an afternoon of digging for pet worms. It gets ripped off first thing in the morning, but LOOK YOUR OUCHIE IS SO MUCH BETTER HONEY DO YOU WANT ANOTHER BAND-AID SO WE DON’T GROSS OUT THE OTHER KIDS AT THE POOL AGAIN TODAY? Of course not.
Sometimes you have to choose your battles. And sometimes, you need to get creative, whether that’s telling your kids that no mommies are allowed at Chuck E. Cheese (only grandparents and babysitters) or making up yet another magical alter-ego that only visits at night.
Strength in numbers – share your crazy parenting moments in the comments! (In other words, please tell me I’m not the only one whose kid pees in public….)
Lydia is our Call Dibs DC Ambassador, full time mom of three and Navy Wife of eight years. Lydia married her high school sweetheart, and has been stationed with her family at Gulfport, MS; Corpus Christi, TX; Mechanicsburg, PA; Iraq/Illinois (GSA); Monterey, CA; Washington, DC. She has a background in Elementary Education and additional certifications in 8-12 English and Physical Education. Lydia enjoys theme parties, cardigan sweaters, coffee, wine, Jane Austen novels, colored office supplies, and Friends trivia.